they've always told me I should write a book of my random thoughts

Wednesday, January 21, 2004

Do you ever feel like you're just not good enough, you're not skinny enough, you're not smart enough, you're not funny enough, you're not comforting enough, just not enough? And then you feel that there are other people around you that are better at everything, smarter, louder, more argumentative, more comforting, more supportive, funnier, more athletic, more intellectual, just more? It's kind of like Eeyore. All the other characters are better than him at everything. So all that's left for Eeyore is to be the sad, unneeded donkey that everyone pities. You know why he's sad? Because everyone pities him and no one needs him. Eeyore's a donkey, an animal that was created to be used. But all the other characters do everything, making there no need for Eeyore. So he's sad because he can't do what he was made to do. He has no purpose in life, at all. So people pity him. DON'T MAKE ME YOUR EEYORE!!! I don't want your pity. I simply want to feel needed. If you don't need me, just tell me. Yes, I might resent you the rest of my life, but I'll be okay, I've gone through it before. I'd rather know that I'm not needed than so I can move on than stay and be the person everyone pities because there's no use for her. Sure, I guess part of it's my fault for closing down and becoming cold. But wouldn't you close down and become cold when the most tragic thing in your life feels like it's happening all over again?