FA (foodaholics anonymous)

I am not the smallest person in the world, nor do I want to be. But I did decide that something finally needed to be done, and I had to do it for myself. I started out with the reasoning that I just wanted to be able to like the pictures that from my sister's upcoming wedding, but that quickly changed. So I joined Weight Watchers. After years of trying to do it on my own or with a doctor that I don't think has ever been even to the upper region of her ideal weight or even with a trainer, I decided 'why not? it's worked for my sister.' And it has worked (well up until my birthday yesterday where I ate too much and had more cupcakes (yes, with an 's') than I should have which I justified because I did have to go to work on my birthday). I have lost slightly over 45 pounds in about 18 weeks, gone down three pants sizes, and drove the lady doing my bridesmaid dress alteration crazy when I came in every two weeks or so and the dress would be more loose than what she had fit it for.

Well, in July, two of my friends from college came up to see me. We started talking about the fact that I had joined weight watchers and Rebecca mentioned that she once went to a meeting with her mom and she felt like it was "an AA meeting where people over-weight people talked about food" (not a direct quote but you get the point.) Now, Rebecca is one of those people that's going to grow up to be an old lady and people that see her walk down the street are going to go 'look at that cute little old lady'; she is 5 foot 3 or 4, and is probably lucky to weigh 115 pounds after she eats an eight course meal. And her mother is almost as small as she is, so what they were doing going to a weight watchers meeting is a mystery.

But what she said has had me thinking for the last month. And she's right... it is exactly like an AA meeting about food instead of alcohol. For a lot of over-weight people, food is their addiction. Whenever they're sad, they eat... happy, they eat... bored, they eat... angry, they eat... frustrated, they eat... stressed, they eat. Food is their comfort, their friend, their celebration. You name it and food can probably fit any situation. This is present company included... it used to be true anyways. So weight watchers is exactly like AA, it helps you find another outlet for how you deal with different situations. And they also talk about other, healthier options. So yes, I am a foodaholic, but I'm okay with that because I am now getting it under control (with the exceptions on birthdays :o) )

Flirt

I am tired of flirting. I am tired of not knowing if there might be something similar on the other end. I'm tired of leaving tiny hints, at least I think they're hints, maybe they're not obvious enough. But then again if there are no reciprocal feelings I don't want to too blunt and ruin what could be a perfectly good friendship. You remember random things that other people don't, like how I really missed daffodils in March and so you showed me the ones you had grown a month later, and that I really like tomatoes and so you tell me when they're actually growing, that all my plants die, well okay most people know that one. You remember when I work weekends even though I haven't said anything for an entire week; my roommate doesn't even do that until I'm walking out the door on Saturday afternoon. Just get over being shy and ask me to go somewhere, a movie, dinner, free concert in the park... I don't really care. Would it help if I told you that I would say yes if you ask me out? Because then that whole fear of rejection problem is ruled out.

Patience might be a virtue but it sure does suck sometimes. I know there's a plan for my life that only God knows and sometimes I feel like I should be perfectly content with living a life of a single female for the rest of my life (maybe without the cats). I mean, it's not like my life is hard. I work at a job that I thoroughly enjoy, minus the usually work crap that happens everywhere, and I'm good at it and it pays really well for being right out of college. I don't necessarily need anyone else to support me. And I have friends, quite a few of them, in several different places. But some days I just want a guy to walk up to the front door with a bunch daffodils and daisies and say "Hey, I'm the one that you're suppose to spend the rest of your life with. Let's get married." And my response would be "Tonight or a short engagement?" And we'd live happily ever after. Or as my friend's student once said "Aplieverater" (or something like that.)

This kind of reminds me of the saying someone found written on a wooden railing or deck somewhere: "My knight in shining armor turned out to be a jerk in aluminum foil."