Insightful Advice
there is something about being alone for an entire night that makes me very introspective and discover a ton of insightful advice. a rare thing to be insightful, i know.... especially for myself. so here is the advice that i would give a few of my acquaintances, if i ever thought they would listen:
To the over-analyzing love struck one:
Just jump. If you really like him, just like him. Just take the plunge and see if it will work. Don't worry about whether or not he dated a super model in the past years, how many girls he's made out with, how many people know him or have heard stories about him, or whether or not his mind is on you for all 24 hours of the day. You're not getting into to this to get married on you second date; you just do it to find out if there could possibly be something in the end. And yes, you may fall; and you may fall on jagged rocks; and it will probably hurt if you do end up falling. But that's why you have friends, to tar and feather him if you ever had that desire. And your friends will be there with mattresses on top of the jagged rocks so that it won't hurt quite as badly. But then again, you might not hit the bottom, he could be the gust of wind that makes you fly. But you'll never know until you jump without thinking about it; you can't analyze the fall. Just close your eyes, let down your hair, and enjoy the ride.
To the quite one that thinks too much:
Stop it! Just stop. Sometimes there aren't reasons for why someone might be interested in you; it could possibly be that for once in your life, you opened your mouth without any hesitation or expectation. If you never talk to anyone that you could possibly be interested in, they'll never be interested in. Don't believe the person that says men only like women for there looks, because if that were true I'd be screwed. And everyone should know that's not true because you look a whole lot cuter in a short skirt and a low-cut top than I do and I already know how to kiss a guy. It is also impossible to find Mr. Right with out trying out a few of the not-so-good fish out there. They're not all going to fit you, but, just like a formal dress, you have to at least try on the not as attractive ones. Someone could possibly find you intriguing enough to want to buy you dinner when they just met you; it just might take you a little longer that find something in him, but you'll never know until you try. And when you do possibly let go and just try something out, don't think. Don't think about what's about to happen or what could happen or what should happen or how it should happen or what the effects of it happening could be. Just lean in! You'll have plenty of time to think afterwards, and probably laugh a lot in the end. What makes a moment magical is not that it hasn't happened ever before, but that it's never felt quite as right before.
To the worry wart:
People will be pissed off at you some point in your life. But if they truly love you, or are truly a friend, they'll forgive you. Now, I would suggest doing things just to piss them off or doing things that piss them off all the time; that will get you no where in life. Yes, you must give into your friends sometimes, but not all the time. Take some time out for yourself; make yourself happy every now and then. They happier you are, the happier everyone around you will be. So take sometime out for yourself, and possibly sometime to be alone. It offers a lot of sanity and will give you time to relax. You can't control every situation of your life. Sometimes things just happen because they were meant to happen. If something happens that's out of your control, just let it go. And if something is happening that doesn't need your control, let it go. You'll still have people that care about you regardless of what might have happened. I'll give you the advice my mother gave me in the form of a Hallmark card: "Breath, slowly and deeply. It will be okay."
To the happy-go-lucky over-achiever:
You're too good for your own self. I know that you just want to help out in every way that you possibly can, but sometimes people can do things on their own. I think I worry about you more than others; possibly, because I don't completely understand how you do it. But learn to say "no". It would be a shame to see your light be blown out by an over-whelming wind of stuff. Let it shine a little less brightly sometimes.
To the quick pleaser:
You can't make everyone happy in life. You are doing so well, but you need to time to yourself sometimes. Just slow down. You don't have to do everything. I know that people are sometimes stupid, irrational and irresponsible but they can figure out some things on their own. And it's okay if you just don't know, because sometimes you just don't. Let people know that. Every now and then, take time to lock your door, turn off your phone, sign off your computer and doing something relaxing for yourself, by yourself. Watch a movie, read a book, color... anything, as long as you're not doing it for someone else.
To the aggressive, screaming controller:
I am not sure what has made you so angry at the world, but let it go. Don't lash out at people as much; you lose friends that way. Look at things calmly and rationally and, more importantly, look at it from others perspective. Learn to take things with a grain of salt sometimes (and I don't mean with the salt on the rim of a margarita glass). Everything in the world does not need to be analyzed by you, and if you can't control your analysis, learn to control what you say. People don't really care about your opinion on every single matter of their life, sometimes they just want to vent; sometimes people just need to talk and don't really want a reaction from you, and that's okay, learn to recognize that, respect that, and not say anything unless they ask you to. You also need to realize that people handle situations differently than you; a lot of people need to be alone to blow off steam instead of screaming at each other. Stop being so angry and aggressive to the people that could possibly care for you. And, even though you think you might, you don't need to know every single little thing a person did, is doing, is going to do, or is thinking at every single moment of the day; really it's not that important. If someone really wants you to know something, they'll tell you; other wise, let it go and let them keep it private until they feel the time is right to let you know what's up, not when you think it's time. And let things be out of your control every now and then, don't plan dinner 18 hours before hand, don't have plans made out for every single moment of your life. You think you're so spontaneous, but really you're walking through life wavering from your carefully laid out path of planned bread crumbs that nothing spontaneous every happens. But also learn to keep your responsibilities; if someone expects something of you, do it or at least offer them an explanation as to why you don't feel you can, not a reason of why you don't want to. Especially if this responsibility is to yourself. You can't just do things that you want to do for the rest of you life; sometimes you have to do the things you would rather not in order to make your over-all life better. And obscenities don't help in every situations. They're bold words and have harsh meanings because they are suppose to be used sparingly and only under harsh circumstances, not circumstances that can be handles calmly and rationally.
i realize that as typing this, i must heed a lot of this advice myself. possibly that's really who this blog is for, instead of the people the people that i have in mind. but these are my meanderings, and most of the time it does not feel appropriate or validated to say many of these things. besides, people rarely change because of the opinions of others. they'll go on living their lives, and they'll make it. they may realize some of the things mentioned here, or i may change my mind and discover they are right. so for now, i'll keep most of these to myself in the form of this blog that most of my friends don't even know exists and deep down i have gotten satisfaction that if i ever do need to let them know how i feel, i have it all written out. so now finally the one to myself.
To the least understood, stubborn one:
You're not always right.
